Monday, 12 March 2012

The pulling power of the Octogenarian...

It would appear that despite the depressing lack of dating activity over the last six months, I have still got what it takes.  Or at least, I still have what it takes to pull an old timer…

Last week, I was hanging around the family sports club (which has an age range of babies to coffin dodgers), waiting for my little one to finish his tennis lesson. 

As I was shuffling through the pile of newspapers and finding somewhere to sit quietly to read, I couldn’t help noticing a very doddery old man who, quite frankly, kept getting in my way.

I am not proud of it, but I do admit to being a little less than patient on occasions.  I have little time to myself and I treasure those moments when I sit down to read the paper.  I could feel myself wondering what on earth this man was doing, constantly hovering around the place!

A short while later, the little one re-appeared.  He magically produced a pack of playing cards and insisted that I play with him.  Within moments of the cards being dealt, the old man reappeared out of thin air, and demanded to know:

“Do you play Bridge…?”

I have to confess (it’s soooo embarrassing!) that I do know how to play bridge. 

“Errr, yes!  Actually, I can, but I hardly ever play.”  I replied.

“Jolly good!  We’re looking for some young blood to join our bridge group.  You must join us.”

“Must I?”  I thought to myself, as I chuckled at the prospect of an evening’s bridge!  Not exactly my idea of a wild night out….  I like to think of myself as more of a Poker Girl!  (OK – I’ve only played Poker once, but it was really good fun).

“The name’s ‘Clem’, can you give me your number?” 

I could feel my mischievous streak coming out as I replied:  “Yes, of course.  Would you like my e-mail address as well?  Are you a ‘Silver Surfer’?”

“What’s that?  Silver Surfer?  Oh, yes, yes, of course!  What’s an e-mail address?”   He stuttered, as I started to write my number in his diary.

“Never mind.  Don’t worry.  I’ve given you my mobile number.”  I said as I returned his diary. 

At that moment a friend appeared and as we started talking, ‘Clem’ shuffled away.

I have to say, I didn’t think about the incident again, until Saturday afternoon.

I was sitting at the kitchen table having a chat with a friend, when my phone rang.  It was a local number, but I didn’t recognise it. 

“Hello.  Is that Lara?” came the unfamiliar voice.  “It’s ‘Clem’.  Remember me from the other day?  I just wondered whether you are free for dinner tonight?  I’ve got a spare ticket for a dinner and play.  Can you come?”

I was really taken aback.  I mean, this man may be an octogenarian, but he’s got some fast moves.  On reflection, I can’t imagine giving my number out so easily to a younger man.  In fact, if a man of my generation, to whom I had barely spoken more than a few words, asked for my number, I would suggested that I take their number instead.

As it happened, I had the little one with me and a friend joining us for dinner, so I couldn’t have gone if I’d wanted to.  I made my excuses and as I was about to ring off, he said:

“Well, that’s a shame.  Next time you’re going to the Club, make sure you let me know, so we can meet up!”

As I hung up, I couldn’t help but laugh as I regaled my friend with the whole story.

“Oh my God – he wants to take you on a ride up the Stannah Stairlift to Zimmer Frame ecstasy!” she exclaimed.  “I think that’s quite cool.”

“No, it’s not!”  I shrieked.  “Am I really reduced to this?  Is this the best I can do?  He’s older than my FATHER, for goodness sake.”

“Just because someone is older, doesn’t mean that their taste diminishes.  He’s probably just having one last shot before he falls off his perch.”

I guess I will have to consol myself with the thought that my friend is probably right.  Taste does not have to diminish with age.  And though the very thought of a ‘hot date’ with ‘Clem’ makes me deeply uncomfortable, you’ve got to hand it to him for trying.  I hope when I’m that age I still have as much life in me.

And as another good friend of mine pointed out:  “Just because there’s dust on the roof, doesn’t mean there’s no lead left!” 

Yep!  That last comment made me laugh the most!!!  


  1. Why do you think he thinks your single - when a) you are obviously attractive and b) you had your son with you? He may be genuinely being friendly and after a bridge partner. Methinks you may be being a little vain/judgemental here.

  2. Don't take this the wrong way, but your comment really made me laugh! I have never considered myself attractive and have battled long and hard with low self esteem. This was not made any easier by my ex-husband, who clearly didn't find me attractive.

    Add to the mix the fact that three weeks ago I had a bad fall whilst running, which gave me two whopping great black eyes...

    Really, seriously, vanity has no part to play!!

    Since becoming single, I have become aware that there is clearly some 'signal' I am sending out, that alerts people to my status. During the nearly 20 years that I was in a relationship, I was never approached and invited to do anything by a man... except once... But he made clear that he realised I was married...

    With all due respect, I am in my 40's. The man concerned is in his 80's and clearly has failing eye sight. Had he had been an Adonis in his 20's, I could understand that you might think me a little vain!

    I only wish I had that much self-confidence.


  3. I think it's pretty cool to be fancied. Doesn't matter by whom. If more people had the 'front' Clem's got I think we'ed all realize we've all got something special about us.
    Clem is too old for a boyfriend but just right for a Bridge partner. I'd give it a whirl. Wouldn't hurt to exercise the little grey cells either :-)

  4. I think you're underestimating him - have you seen the film 'The Holiday(s)?' Kate Winslet and Jack Black I think - would tell you everything you need to know. Do check it out and report back! XX

  5. I haven't even heard of the film 'The Holidays' - but now I'm fascinated!!! Will be looking into that one.

    Someone told me this morning that Dick van Dyke (86) had just married again. The new Mrs van Dyke is a youthful 40 year old! They've been together for six years already!

    It's not for me, but if they are both happy... I wish them well!

  6. Great post - I can picture it all!


Facebook Like Button